She listen-She learn-She speak

assalammualaikum.  today is my second day having post-midnight meal (sahur) here in hostel. together with all of them. the five of us. yuhuu~ im the one who cook the meal. dan aku mengoreng ikan dan ikan tersebut mnjadi ikan kurang garing. terima kasih. but however, we all still having a good time eating all the meal. we all enjoying the food very much. and yeah..today..we were having the meal a bit earlier than yesterday. okay lah tu. so that we can have our time to sleep. because yesterday some of them didnt get much sleep. terutama mister ugou. kesian dia. tadi masa sahur pon dya btul2 nmpk sgt mngantuk. mmg lah..apa x nya..lps closing, masak, makan, main game, then pagi tros masuk keja. mmg xde tidur. so now..have a good extra time-sleep yah mister ugou. and u mister gamer..tomorrow i'll wake u up. awas  have a good sleep everyone.and now right at the moment.. i feel sleepy .till then.. assalammualaikum. 

hey mister,  when im with him..im thinking of you. today, someone hurt me. and i was thinking of looking for u. crying, talking and telling everything to u. i know u can always find a way to calm me down. and.. u know what.. there is someone here who looks like u. the way he think always reminds me of you. i was thinking to look for him and talk to him as how i talk to you. i was thinking to let him replace your role just for a moment u were not here. but.. situation didnt allow that to happen. so..here i am. writing my heart out here in my blog. hoping for u to read this.  i wish u were here laa~ p/s : skrng ni mcm kau bz man aku bz women sudah bha~ kau dgn study kau..aku dgn kerja aku. disana la kita berngam itu. nway..selamat berposa. :)

lailatussaidah everyone~ okay. otak beku. mata mngantuk. kepala pusing. perut kenyang. kaki lenguh. tangan semakin hodoh.  apa lagi nak tambah?  dah. tu je lah. boleh tak kalau aku update blog aku, sambil mata tertutup tangan menaip? atau pon aku just fikir je patah kata. tgk2 dah ter-update. kalau aku dapat buat..mmg demam seminggu aku. boleh pula mcm tu? tu memang dah kne sampuk bunyiknye. memang dah terlebih merepek aku ni. aku nak cakap benda lain sebenarnya. resepi paling ohsem dalam menjaga perhubungan adalah keprcayaan dan kurangkn prasangka melampau. aku nak citer psl ni sbnrnya. to have a very good r/ship with someone trust is what u need the most. be honest and berterus terang. kalau xde 3 benda ni.. u arent deserve to have any r/ship with anybody. kalau sayang tapi tak saling mempercayai.. itu kasih syg yg x ikhlas. kalau sayang tapi x pernah saling berterus terang.. itu tidak membantu. kalau sayang tapi tak jujur.. it...

assalamualaikum and selamat tengah malam. Dah lama x update blog. sekarang dah masuk bulan posa. esok nak kne sahur. semangat berpuasa aku dah berkobar-kobar ni. nway..tajuk kali ni aku letak 'wakenabeb'. tajuk ni special request dari tunang-drama-bersiri aku. saje je letak. nak show off..aku kne wakenabeb. bengang. hoho. mmg x bley blah. tak pasal2 aku jadi mangsa wakenabeb dia. kurang hensem betol. dimulakan cerita..mcm ni. dah hampir setengah bulan aku keje mmg xde masa nak tgk tv. so..aku x tau bila tarikh puasa. aku dgr ura2 khabar angin je posa setat sabtu. so..x ambek kisah sgt la.yg pnting aku bangun sahur dan berpuasa. then aku berkoling2 la dgn encik tunang ni. masa tu malam hari khamis. dah asyik2 bekoling..dgn selamba babasnya dia ckp esok (iaitu hari jumaat) puasa. aku pon bg la reaksi spontan menafikan apa dia ckp.penuh konfiden kot aku jwb dia. tpi..encik tunang ni..mmg hebat mengenakn org. dgn nada dan cara dia ckp serius smcm.. aku pon setat gabra..w...

what life is all about? the more u try to understand what life is all about the more u get confused. dan semakin banyak merasai pengalaman semakin kita faham hidup itu bagaimana. pengalaman buat kita sedar betapa kerdilnya diri di mata pencipta. kerana jika suatu saat kita di uji dengan bermacam2 dugaan  tanpa perisai2 iman takwa tekal tabah kebijaksanaan kewarasan mungkin kita akan jatuh kerana itu terfikir.. "experience should made a man humble." ada pepatah : orang yg bijak adalah org yg merasakan dirinya masih belum cukup bijak orang yang bodoh adalah orang yg merasakan dirinya sudah cukup bijak sinonimnya : orang yang mengaku dia faham apa erti kehidupan itu sepenuhnya sebenarnya adalah orang yang masih belum kenal erti sebenar kehidupan itu.  dont be to arrogant just because u have faced one hardship in your life. life is a long journey. it never stop. life goes on as long as u are still breathing one thing for sure perbanyakkan ...

here i am.  sitting in front of my table.  facing my the one and only favorite stuff to fill my boredom. surfing internet facebooking tweeting blogging.   and didnt even think about biochemistry.  which suppose to be my concern for about three days. it do bother me sometimes. but. seems like anything doesnt work to me now. even though im gonna have my biochem paper this wednesday.  luckily..it is my last payyperr for this semester. yeah!  kota kinabalu sabah land below the wind ~  here i come~

assalamualaikum dan selamat petang wahai insan-insan di muka bumi ini.  fyi..saya org sabah. so today im gonna write using my language yeah.but a little mixed with english. faham tak faham..terpulang.  to start with hari ini hari ahad. esok hari isnin dan seterusnya hari selasa. dan hari selasa pula my second paper gonna start which is ESE-english for self-expression. and u know what subject is that? its about writing a script, learn about expression making short drama, directing, acting and yeah..i love it. so damn much.yup. because i love acting :)  ok bkn tu yg sa mau story2 ni sebenarnya. dis is about something that lingers in my mind lately. sa pn tya tau knapa dlm bnyk2 bnda ini juga yg sa terfikir. bukan satu seja..bnnyk benda. so sa list la satu2 apa yg sa terfikir.  >> roomate sa bwa pgi beli food.tpi sa belum solat asar. trus sa terfikir. kalaulah saya decide utk solat asar slepas beli food then otw balik tiba2 ALLAH tarik nyawa sa..the...

masahulkhair~ today is saturday  and i was suppose to have fun.sleep all day long watch movie and laughing teasing with my roommates. but..unfortunately it is not. today was my first paper for final exam.  and yeah..it had just finish about 2hours ago.  and now another 6 papers to go. cant wait to see this end as soon as possible and not enough with that..my mood once again being twisted to the hilt by this someone. from a bit depressed into so damn depressed. so nice of him! damn. with his childish action..blaming me for this and that..heart feeling..provoking and so on really pissed me off. what is wrong with him? for sudden being so..urghh!!  here is the thing. once i have ditched u from my heart..it means u are just nothing matter to me anymore. whatever action u might do or anything isn't gonna be my problem. as now u were just somebody that i used to know. (gotye~ :P) you..your thing..your life aren't something that i s...

morning peeps! just finish doing my laundry~ well.i lied. ahaha~ just finish taking my shower it is almost afternoon. so obvious i woke up late. isnt? hua3~ nvm. okay. enough on that. ohya! here. when i was doing my thing in my lappy..i found sumthing. its kinda diary that ive wrote 2 month ago. when i read it back..its interesting. like seriously..suppose i should write it recently.not 2 months ago. it is exactly what i feel now. hayyo~ well..whatever. no matter what..its not gonna change anything. here it is :: 17 april 2012 Its april now. And there was a lot of things had happened. And u know what..sabtu yg lalu..i went out with SYAHMI rasidi..and i was so damn happy. Cant tell how happy i was. And he said he was happy too. And yet so many things i had confessed to him. I think tht makes him like me more. Hua3. (perasan). haha. And another thing is..d day before tht day..afmi called me.he said.. DYA RSA DYA MSIH SYG SAYA. And u know what my heart feel? It...

assalamualaikum..and morning everyone~ today is my last day fasting. pheww~ it feels owesome. :P oh well..tomorrow gonna be my first day for final exam. yeah..its kinda heart attack for me. i haven't finish revising all d subjects. whoa! it do freak me out. with so many things happen recently..kind of distraction for me. losing my focus for some petty matter.what a waste. even ryan did say d same thing : "sheamy..throw that away from ur mind. dont think it much. its a waste u know." see..im making it even worse and complicated. obviously.. it is stupid. u think u are smart enough..so no need to do some revision? perhh~ FIAll. u think u are genius? dream off girl. always remember : there is no clever person or stupid person. there is only hardworking person or lazy person. unless u are some kind of physicic or genius. didnt study but still excel and strive in exam. either u hardworking and passed or lazy and failed whatever it is..all the best to all m...

take me out of this darkness. show me the way. stumbling. its confusing. which way should i go? thinking..thinking..and never stop thinking. its hurt. my head hurt. too much thinking make things become more complicated. this is what i really not favour at all. what should i do? and yet this heart doing its own chit-chating. feeling this and that. really. its crowded with so many feelings. loneliness anger mixed with excitement and boredom. and its rhyme the same rythm. hurt. let him go, let him go, let him go stay strong, stay strong, stay strong stop and end it. never hope for something that u know its not gonna happen. life is like a cycle. there is always up and down. what makes u stronger is how u manage to survive. because no matter how many times u stumble down.. there is always a way for u to get up.. u only need a strong will.. if u believe u can do it..yes. u can. because now i believe i can get out from this darkness.

problem when u fall for the wrong guy at the wrong time. oh ALLAH please throw this feeling away. it isnt bring any good but worse . here is the problem. the biggest problem i encounter. which ive never have the clue on how to avoid or run away from. easy to fall for a guy and what worse the guy is not the right one. it is stupid . u see why this always happen to me? because i have this unique heart (consider it is unique) and different ways of thinking . which sometimes make me able to see deeper and deeper into the based of their heart. what i mean is.. behind their bad attitude i saw the good attitude that they hide. behind their selfishness i saw their hurt. behind the ego i saw their insecurity. behind their playfullness i saw their sincerity . behind their stubborness i saw they afraid of being broken hearted. behind their joyness i saw their loneliness . behind their happiness i saw the hole full of sorrow . i saw it. everything. i understand it ver...

assalamualaikum dan selamat pagi~  today is the first day of june. hopefully today and onward my life getting better which is less hurt lest complicated less chaotic. recently, my life is really sucks. so much problem so much hurt so miserable.  and its kinda stupid okay!  seems like it started with him (NA) suddenly appears with news of his girlfriend >> and this international guy whose frequently giving me headache  >> my friends reaction towards this russian guy >> the society whose so close minded >> my health problem >> my family >> and lastly..my study yeah. its really too much for me.  i always think why ALLAH test me with this look-simple-but-not-problems whenever the exams is around the corner?  like seriously..last sem during my final sem..my heart system attacked. and yes it do affecting my study weeks. but thanks ALLAH i still get good pointer..which is 3.00 above.  and now..the same thi...

assalamualaikum dan selamat tengahari~ dah berhabuk blog aku ni..lama tak update. aku nak ckp ..... YES! AKHIRNYA MINGGU YG MEMENATKN TELAH BERLALU~ YAY! last week was the very hectic week for me. like seriously! so dang busy . hah!  mana tak nya..8 assignmnt nak kena siapkan dan hantar dalam minggu tu. memang parah gila2 kot.  just imagine : biochem nk kne anta isnin, ecology ngn ESE due date hari selasa, statistic hari selasa, PBL microbio ngn subjek arab hantar khmis, tmx ngn ethnic hari jumaat. dah pagi sebok smcm dengan subjek2 sumer..not enough with that..petang pula ada training one whole week untuk kejohanan olahraga. kejohanan tu pula hari jatuh pada sabtu dan ahad. mmg packed gila jadual aku. gila x ke penat tu? feels like i wanna die at instant.   pagi dah sungguh2 study..petang dah gila2 training..malam dah dengan penat training nak siapkn assignment.  dah tu tidur lewat. fuhh!  memang dalam hati tuhan je tahu betapa ...

aku rindu moment sekolah menengah aku.  i am proudly saying  "I LOVE MY STELLA MARIS SCHOOL" eventhough i dont really care about that school. its just that the school had given me so much memories to keep. i missed 'em so much! amigos.. i missed u all! kerana di sekolah tu lah aku kenal kawan2 aku. walaupun aku kat sekolah tu cuma 3 tahun lebih..tapi aku lebih suka dgn sekolah tu compare to sekolah baru aku kat SMSL.  dan cerita pasal sekolah lama aku .. there is a few people that i won't never forget. dan bila aku ingat diorang aku akan teringat benda yg berkaitan dgn diorng dan benda tu akan buat aku sentiasa tersenyum bagai. ahaha~ tgk..even aku cerita skrng pn aku dah gelak sorang2. x boleh blah.. debbie cynthia : sinti  asal aku igt dia..aku teringat stadium likas dan acara balapan. dia ni atlit tau. dia lari sgtlah laju. cuma yg buat aku x bleh lupa adalah cara dia lari dimana kaki dia mendahului kepalanya. korang x dpt bayang?  x dapat ...

masa alkhair~ dipetang yg indah ini yg x hujan ini aku duduk termenung sambil minum milo peng. xde kerja nak buat. lagi 30mnt nak turun berkayak. saje mengisi masa blogging lah jawabnya. biasalah kalau dah duduk2 termenung tetiba terfikir sumthing. korang tahu x apabila kita menghayal kita akan lupa 10 benda ?  setiap kali aku heartbroken aku selalu fikir nak termenung sbb kalau termenung harap-harap 10 benda yg aku lupa tu adalah benda yg menyakitkan. xdelah aku berterusan sedih. almaklumlah..fikiran tanpa sedar.  lps aku fikir mcm tu aku cepat2 stop menghayal. sebab mmg tak masuk akal. sebenarnya kita tak tahu pn dalam 10 benda yg kita lupa tu tak semuanya benda sedih. takut2 dalam 10 yg kita lupa tu adalah ilmu..kan tragik tu? penat2 belajar alih2 boleh lupa begitu sahaja. hamboi~ tak patut..tak patut. kesimpulannya janganlah banyak menghayal. tapi kengkadang otak aku ni selalu bnyak sgt idea.  kalau dah menghayal.. lupa 10 benda  xpe sbb aku rajin maka...

ya Allah..penatnya aku! bkn penat badan tapi penat hati. aku nak citer. tpi aku harap story aku x buat siapa yg mbaca rasa semacam. haha~ aku penat sbb sayang orang. masuk akal x? entah la. tapi itulah yg aku rasa bila sayang mamat nama NA tu. sebenarnya..ada benda yg terjadi lately between aku dgn dia. sbb tu aku kembali mnjadi awek penyedih. dipendekkan cerita.. dia kembali lagi dalam hidup aku. sebelum ni aku yakin dgn kata hati aku. aku dah moved on aku dah boleh terima knyataan aku dah boleh hidup tanpa bayang2 dia. dan aku sgt confident dgn bnda tu so aku pn dgn gatal tgnnya add fb dia.  dari situlah segala kembali buat hati dan minda aku huru-hara zombi kg pisang.  aku tak sangka perkara tu rupanya memulakan sesuatu yg aku dah berjaya hentikan iaitu :   'relationship hati ke hati'  mcm tu lah yg aku gelar. dah..aku malas berkias2. aku cakap direct. lps keadaan adding fren request tu jadi aku tak tahu apa yg ubah hati NA. d...

jika ini saat nafas terakhir ku . . # ya ALLAH sampaikanlah salam sayang salam kasih salam rinduku pada kedua ibu bapa ku. katakan pada mereka ampunkanlah segala dosa2 ku dari sekecil2 zarah hinggalah sebesar2nya.  sesungguhnya aku sangat menyayangi mereka ya tuhan.  maafkan sekiranya puteri sulung mereka ini tidak sempat mnghabiskan tanggungjwbnya sebagai anak semasa hayatnya. maafkan putrimu ini wahai ibubapa tercinta ku, anak mu ini banyak menyakiti dan menyusahkan mu, maaf seribu kali maaf.  anak mu ini tidak sempurna mana namun anak mu ini tetap berusaha mengembirakan mu wahai ibu dan ayahku. ketahuilah bhawa aku sangat berterima kasih dgn jasa2 dan pengorbanan kedua ibubapa ku ya tuhan.  sungguh aku berterima kasih padamu kerana mengurniakan kedua ibubapa seperti mereka.biar tidak sesempurna mna namun aku tetap bersyukur kerana kasih sayang mereka tidak pernah luntur.  ya ALLAH jika ini nafas terakhirku aku mohon..kau jagalah keluarga ku, li...

dan aku blogging di tgh malam tepat jam1. aku menulis dgn tiba2 kerana ada perkara juga berlaku tiba2. ada bnda yg selalu buat aku terfikir2. smpai rasa nak muntah befikir. kenapa, mengapa, apakah, betulkah? hati aku sentiasa tertanya2 kenapa bila aku dah get over him, takdir munculkan dye balik dgn tiba2? ye.dipendekkan cerita.aku kapel dgn dye.aku putus dgn dye. 1st month ::  its really hard to moved on. get over him? no i cant.   2nd month ::  im trying as hard as i could. no i still cant. 3rd month ::  yes i think aku dah get over him. and. bila aku igt aku dah get over him, takdir munculkan dye..dgn kol aku secara tiba. masa tu hati aku rapuh balik. dan. at d end conversation aku conclude..i still cant get over him. 4th month ::  ya. aku dah boleh terima kenyataan.aku dah boleh live my life tnpa bayang2 dye. dan aku yakin. yes.i am healed. and yet..ALLAH munculkn lagi dye. 1 march. he called me. dan masa tu dye bagi aku 4 words ...

assalamualaikum dan selamat pagi. bangun pagi..buka je mata tros masuk dapur tgk my mum msk apa utk breakfast. nmpk sedap. hati pon tak sabar nak makan masakan my mum. dah buat apa yang patut semua2 dgn senang hati tolong my mum habiskan makan. :P lps dah habis semua2 rehat kejap, duduk2, cerita2 lps tu.. BOSAN.  bila dah bosan mulalah rasa tak tentu arah. kaki rasa nak jalan je. baru 3 hari kat rumah tros je jln2. x pernah rasa tenteram kalau tak jalan..apa nak jadi ni?? yerrrr~  dan disebabkan xde benda nak buat..blogging la jawabnya. bila dah duduk, xde kerja mulalah mengimbau kenangan2 lama. otak mula berfikir bnda jauh2. benda dalam2.kisah2 dulu kala. setat lah akal tu me-reasoning, flashback sumer2 benda. dan.. bermulalah cerita .. ~ aku ada bestfriend.lelaki.satu2nya bestfriend aku berjantina lelaki. aku letak dye jadi besfren sebab dye je satu2nya lelaki yg bertahan jadi besfren aku since 2 tahun yg lalu. aku kenal dye pon masa aku kat matrikulasi. sebelum...